Waar is my Kop?

 

By Nolitha Ngamlana

This article is exclusive to the Online Edition 10 of VARSITY News.

Growing up, the closest thing I had to celebrating Halloween was making sure I knew all the entertaining Halloween movies that would play on ETV, and SABC 2 and 3. I was a walking, breathing TV schedule. Come October 31st, I would sit on the carpet at home, so close to the television that my eyes would be drowsy from the light coming off the screen. Apart from discovering I was short-sighted, those days were always fun and they made me feel like I was part of the typical American Halloween celebration. But what would happen if Halloween was celebrated in Mzansi? I know that one thing’s for sure: it would never go well. Two words: African parents.

 


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Imagine dressing up as the grim reaper, knocking on people’s doors on Halloween night. African parents would literally ask you why on earth you are dressed as death. In no way would they take it as your favourite character from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy or just some harmless dressing up occasion. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be chased out of someone’s yard while salt is thrown all over me as they shout, “watse k*k is die?” I don’t need that kind of drama in my life.

 

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Do you think that some of our parents grew up knowing who Casper is? I remember growing up watching Emzini Wezinsizwaon SABC 1; there was an apparent ghost who kept terrorizing people at night, asking them, “waar is my kop?” After that, most of us got scared of opening for people at night. There is no way you can get someone from South Africa to give strangers sweets at night, let alone buy sweets annually just to give them away – people outchea trying to save money!

 

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Imagine a Mzansi Halloween, where we’d display cabbages or potatoes instead of pumpkins on our windows or by the front door. We’d probably wake up with most of them stolen and used for a stew in someone’s house. This is South Africa; people want to eat. And instead of regular trick-or-treating, South Africans will just plainly ask you for money. We don’t have time for beating about the bush. Sicela imali, chini! And our parents would probably say, “Julle wil klappertjies skiet” if we try to celebrate Halloween.

 

All jokes aside, I think it would be a fun experience if we had our own Mzansi spice to it. Plus, everyone would be able to participate, and it would not just be sweets or dressing up, but an opportunity to create memorable and hilarious moments.

 

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This section of VARSITY is a vehicle for expression on any topic by members of the UCT community. The opinions within this section are not necessarily those of the VARSITY collective or its advertisers.

 

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